On the Ukraine War and Trump’s Foreign Policy Switch-up:

Three years have passed since the beginning of the Russian Invasion of Ukraine, and boy, are things crazy right now. Since the beginning of the second Trump presidency, the US has done a sudden pivot on its stance on how the war should be dealt with, with the White House releasing a formal statement saying,”Well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Get exclusive photo ops on Trump Tower Moscow, coming soon, with a perfect view of the Kremlin and 5 star heating.” President Trump recently met with President Volodomyr Zelensky of Ukraine in a now infamous exchange. Trump, after a lengthy phone call with some Russian agents, decided to side with our historical best buddy Russia, and attacked Zelensky on national television. Among other comments, some of the highlights were Trump calling Zelensky a dictator and accusing him of declaring war on Russia, yelling that Zelensky was “gambling with World War III”, and also berating him for not wearing a suit while in the White House, after which Elon Musk entered in his ‘Tech Support” T-shirt, which quickly shut Trump up.

Europe responded by giving President Zelensky 10 weeks of free Trump Whisperer training from President Macron of France, because if there is one person that Trump can’t help liking, it is the President of France. This goes after the US voted with Russia, North Korea, China, Iran, Hungary, and 12 other countries in opposition to a UN resolution drafted on the anniversary of the Ukraine War, denouncing the Russian invasion, and protecting Ukraine’s territorial integrity. I mean, it’s like watching the plot of a bad spy thriller, except there are way more secret oil deals and no car chases or catchy one liners.

President Trump, when asked about the future of Ukraine, responded by saying, “Well, we need Ukraine to sit down and make a deal with Russia, because clearly, nothing would have happened if they did that at the start. I mean, it’s simple. Just read my book, The Art of the Deal—which, by the way, I definitely wrote. You can ask anyone, they’ll tell you—I’m like the Shakespeare of deals. If Shakespeare wrote deals, that is. And if Putin was one of his beneficiaries. And if I had a ghostwriter. But mostly, I wrote it.”

I am paraphrasing, but I’m still not completely sure what he was saying after that.

Many UN member countries, including the United Kingdom and Germany, have accused the US of “recklessly abandoning Ukraine to appease Russia”, with the UK ambassador to the UN, Barbara Woodward, saying,”He [Trump] has begun making concessions to Putin before the negotiations have even begun,” and the soon-to-be Chancellor of Germany, Friedrich Merz saying,“My absolute priority will be to strengthen Europe as quickly as possible so that, step by step, we can really achieve independence from the USA.” The new US ambassador to Germany, Richard Grenell, responded in a public statement, saying,”No, please, don’t go, please…who am I kidding? Good riddance, I’ve been pretending to care for 20 minutes.” Again, I am paraphrasing, but that basically is what was said.

Many important things are becoming very apparent during the Trump Presidency. First of all, the price of eggs is not getting any lower. Second, Trump is negative 60 days into his promise to end the Ukraine War within the first 24 hours of becoming President. Third, Russia is really happy right now.

On AI and its consumption of water:

Ah, yes, the rise of AI. ChatGPT, the miraculous brainchild of tech wizards is now helping high schoolers cheat their way through essays and solve math problems (sorry, teachers, I know you hate it). But what no one is talking about is the terrifying environmental toll these AI programs are taking on our precious resources. According to a study by Shaolei Ren from the University of California, every single prompt we send to ChatGPT, like, say,”Write me a 2,000-word essay on photosynthesis”, sucks up 500 milliliters of water. Yeah, you read that right. 500 milliliters of precious, life-giving water. All to cool a computer server for a chatbot AI.

Now, hold onto your water bottles because here’s where things get really stupid. ChatGPT gets about 1 billion prompts every day, give or take. That’s 500 billion milliliters of water per day, or about 500 million liters of water daily. Now, you might be thinking, “Eh, that’s a drop in the ocean.” Ah, but—and here’s where it gets juicy—the amount of water in the entire ocean is around 1.26 sextillion liters (or 1,260,000,000,000,000,000,000 liters), which is more than the amount of living things on Earth. And trust me, we aren’t getting any drier.

Sure, 0.0000000004% of the ocean’s water doesn’t sound like much. But that tiny, insignificant fraction is still enough to cause a crisis. Because, as it turns out, most of the world’s fresh water is locked up in glaciers and only 1% of the Earth’s water is even fresh enough to drink. So every time you ask ChatGPT to write an essay comparing and contrasting Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Midsummer Night’s Dream (which it’s probably better at than you), you’re not just helping the younger generation float through school on a velvet cushion, you’re also draining the planet’s very limited fresh water reserves. Who knew a 1000 word essay on “The Impact of Social Media on the Brains of the Younger Generations” was such a draining topic?

So, let’s be real here: if we keep this up, AI could be the reason you have to trade in your next cup of coffee for some dehydrated (and caffeinated) slop. We need to stop asking ChatGPT for homework help and asking it to write essays for us. Otherwise, we’ll be living in a world where the only thing we can drink is a “synthetic, lab-grown, water-like substance” (which, let’s face it, will probably come in a can or box). Do the math, folks, it’s time to start thinking for ourselves, or we might be thinking very dry thoughts in the future. 3 liters of water were consumed in the writing of this article.

I’ll be making fun of important events soon. Until then, good day.